Minesweeper

Dear Minesweeper,

You've been with me so long, like a shadow. I should have given you some more faithful recognition by now, but I know you're gonna be here anyway. And not just for me. That's what's so good about you. You stick by everyone. Whenever I don't really know what to do, when my mind has just gone blank, I know I can glaze over and be with you.

It's not like you provide any sage advice, and to be honest--after this long, we can be honest, right?--you're not even very entertaining. I never really sought you out, and I know I don't call back. That's because you're just always hanging on to the side of all my computers, with your emoticon-oriented face and your little flaggy fingers. It's great that you're stable and undemanding of me and my time, because like Internet Explorer, I can't seem to actually pry you off my stuff--I don't think you're ever going to let me uninstall you. I know you don't like being compared to IE, and I don't blame you, because that dude's a douche, but it is true.

Everyone else flakes out on me, or gossips too much, or creates drama because they don't agree with my choice of sexual partners. Or because they're just jealous of me. And I'm here to confide in you, Minesweeper. The rest of my social circle is pissing me off. It's like I've been playing you on Expert and this is the eighth game and all I keep getting is a bunch of little blue ones. No one can be trusted, and everyone might go off. Even my drinking buddies. So I'm just like FLAG FLAG FLAG, FLAG FLAG FLAG. And then oooh, maybe once every new computer-ownership cycle I'll meet a six, someone who knows their shit and is honest about their warnings. But then it's back to the FLAG FLAG FLAG and the AWFUL BLUE ONES and the FLAG FLAG FLAG. And sometimes I think, I know this game is only supposed to have 10 mines in it but I SWEAR IT HAS FIFTY SEVEN. Because the minefield I live in is evil. And I'm glad I have you.

BOOM,
Noren